Shirking from relationships is one thing, getting back on the dating scene after already visiting the altar once is another. There are ways of dealing with divorce and moving on while making the transformation easier. Here's a rundown...
"Even years after my divorce, I felt the emotional scars it left me with and that made it extremely difficult to move on," says Niharika Kadam (name changed), housewife and divorcee of five years.
Divorce is a painful process and needs to be dealt with utmost care. Here is what our experts have to say about getting back to the dating scene after a divorce.
Give yourself time to grieve
You don't just lose your friends, but also your identity, social circle and friends if you shared any mutually. "Allowing yourself some time to grieve is essential before you decide to jump back on the bandwagon," says Psychiatrist and counsellor, Surbhi Garg. You may go through the stages of denial, anger and bitterness, so allowing yourself enough time to deal with them is crucial.
You don't just lose your friends, but also your identity, social circle and friends if you shared any mutually. "Allowing yourself some time to grieve is essential before you decide to jump back on the bandwagon," says Psychiatrist and counsellor, Surbhi Garg. You may go through the stages of denial, anger and bitterness, so allowing yourself enough time to deal with them is crucial.
Re-discover yourself
A divorce provides with a number of opportunities to re-discover yourself and indulge in the things you love. Use these interests to keep yourself occupied and don't fall into a routine of laziness or regularity. Instead, keep yourself motivated and indulge in activities that took a backseat when you were married.
A divorce provides with a number of opportunities to re-discover yourself and indulge in the things you love. Use these interests to keep yourself occupied and don't fall into a routine of laziness or regularity. Instead, keep yourself motivated and indulge in activities that took a backseat when you were married.
Maintain respect
A divorcee goes through countless issues, which may subconsciously project on the new partner as well. Hence, going back on the dating scene should be both a careful as well as premeditated move. Says Seema Hingorany, clinical psychologist and author, "It's important to aim for a respectful ending with your previous partner. Starting a new relationship without dealing with those issues resurrects any buried feelings with the old partner."
A divorcee goes through countless issues, which may subconsciously project on the new partner as well. Hence, going back on the dating scene should be both a careful as well as premeditated move. Says Seema Hingorany, clinical psychologist and author, "It's important to aim for a respectful ending with your previous partner. Starting a new relationship without dealing with those issues resurrects any buried feelings with the old partner."
Keep space
In order to get over your ex, you need to maintain some distance. If you keep in constant touch, you will be tempted to go through another reconciliation. As important as it is to have your peace with what happened, reminding yourself of why it ended is important too. Don't cut off all communication, but give yourself space and distance to move on and move away.
In order to get over your ex, you need to maintain some distance. If you keep in constant touch, you will be tempted to go through another reconciliation. As important as it is to have your peace with what happened, reminding yourself of why it ended is important too. Don't cut off all communication, but give yourself space and distance to move on and move away.
Start dating again
"After a divorce, you basically know what you want and what you don't. With that realisation, take the plunge and don't be scared to move ahead. All the issues that you have after your divorce can be resolved with love, compassion and constant positivity," adds Seema.
"After a divorce, you basically know what you want and what you don't. With that realisation, take the plunge and don't be scared to move ahead. All the issues that you have after your divorce can be resolved with love, compassion and constant positivity," adds Seema.
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