By Varun Swasthi MensXp
Loveless marriages lead to divorces. No rocket science, that. But what after the decision to part ways? Goof-ups, money issues, dividing friends and what not! Wading through some great mess at the moment can lead to some really common mistakes. In order to never go through it, keep these things in mind!
© Shutterstock
All things joint now needs a relook. Once you guys take the D-road, not only will all your assets be split, even all your joint debts will be split (ouch!). What seemed like an investment when both of you were together is now simply a debt. And every time one of you falters, it directly affects the other's credit. Unfortunately, there's no hiding or escaping. Let's accept it: after a marriage ends, there's a significant period where both parties take a pretty brutal financial hit. It is important then that you find your new financial rhythm and sort out the joint debts as smoothly and quickly as possible.
© Shutterstock
What are lawyers for then? Kindly do not fall in the friend trap and let emotions and false convincing rule over logic or law. Most (Okay, almost all) friends base their advice on 'experience' and of what they have seen others do. That's fine as far as convincing the breaking up parties to get together goes. From a legal standpoint, they are nowhere close to what the real law might have to say. Since each family is different, divorce proceedings require flexibility and liberal discretion of the judge. Your friend might have gone through more divorces than Elizabeth Taylor, but our word of caution: DO NOT TRUST BLINDLY!
© Images Bazaar
As logical and as necessary that split might feel at the moment, there is no way that two people would easily let go of each other without creating a scene if there are assets or custody involved (even if it's the poor dog). If you want to dig into a dirty and evil game, nobody will walk away unscathed. Hiring a lawyer in these situations will help, as he will coldly propose compromises that don't involve you going to jail for revenge-stealing the dog or burning all her clothes out of spite.
© Thinkstock
Tricky! To offer your shoulder is sin, to not offer your shoulder is a bigger sin. Divorce should be a business deal, even though it sounds cold and indifferent. You expect her to behave in a certain manner since you have been seeing her behave so. So when the judge declares the D-word, you might see her shed a tear a two under the bench. If you act cold, she will call you an asshole. If you run to her and hold her hand, the judge will call you an asshole. Yet, we suggest it's much better to steer clear and not let your emotions get the better of you. You owe each other nothing and acting selfish is totally normal.
© Shutterstock
No it won't happen. Be it a family member or a mutual friend, every one is now going over what's appropriate and inappropriate to bring up in conversation around you. Friends who enjoyed your company as a couple will have a tough time coping with the split. They won't be able to share little secrets, or that awesome time that they spend with ex on a movie night. And keep the ditching and bitching to your exclusive friends, please! Taking that risk with your mutual friends might lead you in a soup.
Loveless marriages lead to divorces. No rocket science, that. But what after the decision to part ways? Goof-ups, money issues, dividing friends and what not! Wading through some great mess at the moment can lead to some really common mistakes. In order to never go through it, keep these things in mind!
Take Care Of Joint Debt Soon
© Shutterstock
All things joint now needs a relook. Once you guys take the D-road, not only will all your assets be split, even all your joint debts will be split (ouch!). What seemed like an investment when both of you were together is now simply a debt. And every time one of you falters, it directly affects the other's credit. Unfortunately, there's no hiding or escaping. Let's accept it: after a marriage ends, there's a significant period where both parties take a pretty brutal financial hit. It is important then that you find your new financial rhythm and sort out the joint debts as smoothly and quickly as possible.
Don't Take Legal Advice From Friends
© Shutterstock
What are lawyers for then? Kindly do not fall in the friend trap and let emotions and false convincing rule over logic or law. Most (Okay, almost all) friends base their advice on 'experience' and of what they have seen others do. That's fine as far as convincing the breaking up parties to get together goes. From a legal standpoint, they are nowhere close to what the real law might have to say. Since each family is different, divorce proceedings require flexibility and liberal discretion of the judge. Your friend might have gone through more divorces than Elizabeth Taylor, but our word of caution: DO NOT TRUST BLINDLY!
Don't Use Assets Or Custody As A Weapon
© Images Bazaar
As logical and as necessary that split might feel at the moment, there is no way that two people would easily let go of each other without creating a scene if there are assets or custody involved (even if it's the poor dog). If you want to dig into a dirty and evil game, nobody will walk away unscathed. Hiring a lawyer in these situations will help, as he will coldly propose compromises that don't involve you going to jail for revenge-stealing the dog or burning all her clothes out of spite.
You Aren't Emotionally Responsible For Her
© Thinkstock
Tricky! To offer your shoulder is sin, to not offer your shoulder is a bigger sin. Divorce should be a business deal, even though it sounds cold and indifferent. You expect her to behave in a certain manner since you have been seeing her behave so. So when the judge declares the D-word, you might see her shed a tear a two under the bench. If you act cold, she will call you an asshole. If you run to her and hold her hand, the judge will call you an asshole. Yet, we suggest it's much better to steer clear and not let your emotions get the better of you. You owe each other nothing and acting selfish is totally normal.
You Cannot Make Mutual Friends Choose Sides
© Shutterstock
No it won't happen. Be it a family member or a mutual friend, every one is now going over what's appropriate and inappropriate to bring up in conversation around you. Friends who enjoyed your company as a couple will have a tough time coping with the split. They won't be able to share little secrets, or that awesome time that they spend with ex on a movie night. And keep the ditching and bitching to your exclusive friends, please! Taking that risk with your mutual friends might lead you in a soup.
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